Dear friends and family back in the U.S.,
Due to the fact that I am moving to my last host family tomorrow and everyday I am have to come closer to excepting the fact that I will have to return to Oregon, I have decided to issue this blog post as a direct guide of how to deal with "post-exchange Summer". I have changed and experienced an enormous amount of things in the last year so I thought I would issue sort of a warning about when I return. (I promise nothing too crazy!) Some of these things I'm going to list below may also apply when dealing with any other recently returned exchange student, so please take them into account if you meet one of my people. (Meaning exchange students. I consider us our own people, sort of a tribe thing) but please keep in mind that not every exchange student is the same, so some of these may not apply. Let's begin with the basics shall we?
Please try to:
- Be patient with me when I ask what happened six months ago. I've been away for quite a while so I may not know some things that happened a long time ago, but I'd like to catch up! So please try to fill me in on what I missed.
- Ask me about my exchange. I am honestly dying to tell you. I'm not saying dont try to talk to me about anything else, just don't ignore the fact that I was in another country for a year. Too many exchange students are never asked questions about their year after they get back, so they're left with sort of a secret that they wish they could tell everyone about.
- Avoid the "how was your exchange?" question. I know it seems innocent, and it is, but to us exchange students that is one of the hardest questions you can give. For us, it's impossible to find the right words to describe our experience, so this question is very limiting. If possible try to ask some some random questions! For example: what was the weirdest food you ate? What was the best? What was the funniest mistake you made in your new language? Those kinds of questions are much more fun to answer and to hear. So if you can, take a minute to ask us something fun! I promise our answers will not disappoint you.
- Give me time with my English. You'd think that after 18 years of speaking one language you couldn't forget any of it right? Wrong. My English is plain awful at the moment. I forget words constantly and use poor grammar, there are probably many mishaps in this blog post itself! But please be patient with me if I take a few extra minutes to remember a word or how to spell something. It'll come back quickly I'm sure, but for now, be prepared.
- Be aware of physical contact. This may be just exclusive to me, but unlike in U.S., where I've been living in Japan physical contact has been very rare for me. I can almost count on my fingers the few number of times I have been hugged in the last year. That being said, there will be times I might not be comfortable with a hug. Yet there may be times when I'm completely fine, so please just be aware in case I'm a little awkward hugging or hand shaking. I may bow sometimes.
- Forgive my Japanese outbursts. (I think that this applies to most exchange students with their new language and culture.) I may sometimes just start babbling to myself in my new language or make a reference to something from Japanese culture that you may not understand. Sometimes I'll be able to explain and sometimes I won't, but I hope you can forgive my few moments of foreign weirdness.
- Be aware of possible mood swings. Sometimes it's easy to just be happy, but sometimes that can turn into instant sad, nostalgia because of a song or something someone said that makes us exchange students think about our time abroad. There may be tears, laughter, or depression but remember we are trying to handle ourselves as best as we can. It all depends on who and when but support, alone time, and/or laughter could really help us through our recovery period.
- Last and most of all, please try to give me time. I haven't even left yet, and I already know it's going to take me quite a while to heal and re-adjust to life back in the U.S.. So just give me time and I promise I'll figure it out.
To anyone who take the time to read this, thank you, and I hope that you use some of this when meeting recently returned exchange students. We are not the same people we were when we left, we have grown and learned so much. That much change can be a lot on one person so please give any exchange student you meet as much support as you can, we really appreciate it. I am not the same person I was a year ago, but I think I've changed for the better.
Again, I apologize for any incorrect English. Until next time, this is Summer: trying to live in every moment of her last three weeks in Japan.